In order to properly prioritize your life, you need to take a step back and reassess where you are investing your time and energy. Alongside this, in my opinion, it becomes quite beneficial (necessary, in fact) to keep yourself accountable for every single decision you make. It doesn’t matter how big or small each decision is – rather, it matters that you make every decision consciously and purposefully according to your priorities and goals.

At this point in my life, I feel that it makes most sense to prioritize ourselves in this order:

1. Health - Of mind, of body. Keep yourself in shape. Aerobic exercise is a must, along with other recreational or occasional forms of exerting physical energy. Interestingly, studies have shown that regularly exercising and accomplishing physical challenges will automatically keep your mind sharper and happier. In addition, it will embolden you to accept other non-physical challenges. Moreover, your brain needs mental stimulation on a regular basis – outside of family or work. Read the news. Read books. Stay up on what’s going on in the world, what happened in history, and how it relates to your perspectives. Practice artistic hobbies and express your views while reflecting on the beauties of life. Be aware of yourself, your words, your actions. Groom your body and practice good hygiene. Maintain regular schedules of sleeping, eating, and otherwise as described here. More than anything, don’t obsess over your health – be moderate, and enjoy it.

“When health is absent, wisdom cannot reveal itself, art cannot manifest, strength cannot fight, wealth becomes useless, and intelligence cannot be applied.” – Herophilus

The best six doctors anywhere
And no one can deny it
Are sunshine, water, rest, and air
Exercise and diet.
These six will gladly you attend
If only you are willing
Your mind they’ll ease
Your will they’ll mend
And charge you not a shilling.

- Nursery rhyme quoted by Wayne Fields, What the River Knows, 1990

“The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind.” – G.K. Chesterton

“Our body is a machine for living.  It is organized for that, it is its nature.  Let life go on in it unhindered and let it defend itself, it will do more than if you paralyze it by encumbering it with remedies.”  – Leo Tolstoy

“There’s lots of people who spend so much time watching their health, they haven’t got time to enjoy it.” – Josh Billings

2. Relationships - Family, friends, and people that YOU care about seem to be a logical secondary life priority after you take care of yourself. In fact, studies have shown that people who do volunteer work or show regular compassion or generosity to others are more likely to be happy and satisfied with their own life goals and accomplishments. In addition, laughing is said to help oxygenate your blood stream, and a smile is said to require less energy than a frown. Maintaining positive relationships with the people you love is vitally important to a balanced life as it will seemingly create a “give and take” cycle between you and others. Ultimately, though, don’t spend too much time on people you don’t care about, or people that always let you down. This sounds harsh, but such actions will only negatively impact your a) health and b) relationships overall.

“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.” – Tennessee Williams

“Having someone wonder where you are when you don’t come home at night is a very old human need.”  – Margaret Mead

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.” – Unknown

There’s one sad truth in life I’ve found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.

- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

3. Career and Purpose - Keep your long-term goals and identity in mind with every decision. Contrary to popular sayings, a job is not “just a job”… rather, like they address in the movie Repo Men, “you are what you do.” In the old days, most people wound up falling into whatever industry their father was in – farming, fishing, carpentry, textiles, blacksmith, etc. In the postmodern age, however, we have the blessing, and curse, of having too many options. It has the effect of making life decisions harder – overwhelming, at times, as we decide on education, training, where to live, which subcultures to be a part of, and what career paths to pursue. Moreover, sometimes we don’t have a choice, during bad economic times or between jobs or schools, and we fall into random opportunities. Rather than getting caught up in the crazy speed and confusion of the modern world, challenge yourself to make decisions according WHO and WHAT you want to be. Got rejected from medical school but haven’t given up? Then find a job in the meantime and remain focused on your ultimate goals. At all costs, do not remain stagnant or hesitant for too long. You can only learn more about yourself, and more about your purpose, by moving around and trying various things. Here is a fascinating and inspiring rundown about life purpose you should check out.

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan

“Each of the professions means a prejudice. The necessity for a career forces every one to take sides. We live in the age of the overworked, and the under-educated; the age in which people are so industrious that they become absolutely stupid.” – Oscar Wilde

“Don’t ever let economic alone determine your career or how you spend the majority of your time.” – Denis Waitley

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

4. Fun & Satisfaction - Don’t live for tomorrow, live for today. Enjoy life. Pleasure is so important and brings the cycle of life priorities back to #1, which is your own personal health and well-being. There are funny differing opinions and wordings regarding the idea of being content or satisfied. Some people believe that to live an energetic, happy, and interesting life, you must “never be satisfied” and keep going and going on to various things. This is intriguing, and I understand what they mean. However, I think it is important as humans to pursue, and consciously acknowledge to ourselves, a certain level of contentment and satisfaction when we accomplish the things we sought to, or when we reach certain encouraging milestones, or when we have a fantastic season of life doing something we enjoy, or something that is truly good, or something that we did with people we love that is just awesome. At the end of the day – no, actually, at any time of any day, you should generally be on the path that you WANT to be on, even if its a short diversion or pause. You should never live for “one day” or worry about tomorrow constantly. Today was yesterday’s tomorrow, and such a cycle is so dangerous. Have fun with people, marvel at the beauty of the natural world, listen to music, develop your hobbies, travel, and play around with the idea of satisfaction.

“Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” – Book of Ephesians

“Don’t let the past steal your present.” – Terri Guillemets

“If you are still talking about what you did yesterday, you haven’t done much today.” – Author Unknown

“Yesterday is history.  Tomorrow is a mystery.  And today?  Today is a gift.  That’s why we call it the present.”  – Babatunde Olatunji

*Some people might argue that religion, or lifestyle ideologies and philosophies, should also appear on this list, probably at the top. However, it would seem that such a logic is in fact blinding. Universal human values can fit into any reasonable and natural ideology, hence, this list is presented “as-is.”

Or does it?

Now more than ever, many people of all ages are turning back the clock on technology and looking for more down-to-earth methods of interaction. While it’s hardly possible to avoid the Internet these days between all the online banking, emailing, and what not, some web communities aim to mix a bit of tradition with technology.

Enter JuJu, a new social network that aims to harness the power of the Internet to bring back the old-fashioned penpal with perhaps a little more technological pep. Dozens of homemade penpal type sites have existed on the web for the past 15 or so years, but JuJu seems to reach out in new form with a slick brand and slick software.

Users who register on JuJu are given the opportunity to fill out a profile where they can specify what they are looking for. Choices include: Friends, Penpals, Dating, Language Exchange, Travel Companions, and Hosting Other Travelers.

JJ, one of the current administrators of the website, explains further: “Neither the idea of penpals nor the idea of social networks is a unique idea, to say the least. Rather, JuJu seeks to fill a niche that seems to be lacking on the web currently, becoming a sort of fusion between Couchsurfing, Match.com, and a traditional, homemade penpal site. Our website is high-tech and full-featured, but moreover, our service is completely free.”

By focusing on cross-cultural friendships, JuJu aims to keep the community family-friendly and safe for minors, while still leaving the door open to romance for those users who are interested in lasting partnerships. Under this philosophy, JuJu users are in total control of their profiles with a full range of privacy and security settings.

Members of JuJu are encouraged to connect via Skype or by using the site’s own private chat system, along with photo albums, blogs, and forums. JJ says that more features are being planned for the future.

Signup for a free JuJu account today!

While the name of this television town is completely fictional, there are real towns where cougars live. In case you were wondering, here is a list of the top five cougar towns in the United States.

1. Austin, Texas

About Austin: As a college town, Austin is considered a party town with a hip live music scene. It embraces alternative culture, and while the rest of the state shares conservative political views, Austin is known for offering a more liberal lifestyle. Though mostly artsy and offbeat, upscale designer stores can be found in the 2nd Street District, which is where you will most likely run into the local cougars.

Why Austin is a Cougar Town: Austin also has more single men than single women. Single males in Austin account for more than 22 percent of the population, and the majority of the Austin population is in their 20s. Because cougars often prefer men who are 15 or more years younger than they are, this makes Austin the perfect location for a recent divorcee to get dolled up, go out on the town for some entertainment and hopefully snag the attention of a strapping young lad.

2. Boulder, Colo.

About Boulder: Boulder is the home of the University of Colorado, the state’s largest university. Nestled between the Rocky Mountains and the Great Plains, Boulder is an outdoor lover’s dream with plenty of recreational open space, and ample opportunities for hiking, biking, running, and rock climbing.

Why Boulder is a Cougar Town: Boulder is considered to be a town full of power singles: well-educated, high-income urban singles. The median age in Boulder is 33, and males outnumber females by 6 percent. To keep up with higher-than-average living costs, many cougars are educated corporate executives. Most Boulder cougars are independent and are employed in middle-management professions. Younger professional males who seek out self-sufficient women and don’t waste time playing games will find plenty of eligible cougars in Boulder.

3. Nashville, Tenn.

About Nashville: It may be the Country Music Capital of the World, but downtown Nashville has an increasingly diverse assortment of things to do. Walk down Broadway and 2nd Avenue on a Saturday night, and you’ll find all kinds of entertainment venues, nightclubs and restaurants. Nashville was ranked by Expansion Management magazine as the number one most popular U.S. city for corporate relocations.

Why Nashville is a Cougar Town: Nashville has one of the highest numbers of plastic surgeons in the country. With 48 plastic surgeons in and around Nashville, there are 4.4 surgeons per 100,000 people. Most people in the city of Nashville have college educations and are employed in middle-management professions. There are many corporate professionals, which include high-income, high-spending urban single women. Many of these urban singles include recent divorcees in their 40s who can afford plastic surgery and are on the prowl.

4. Orlando, Fla.

About Orlando: Orlando is best known as one of the most visited cities among vacationers, but it is also a multicultural, urban city with various industries. Considered a major industrial and hi-tech center, metro Orlando is  internationally recognized as an innovation hub for digital media, agricultural technology, aviation, aerospace and software for more than 150 international companies.

Why Orlando is a Cougar Town: The population of Orlando includes many middle- to upper-income singles living in the suburbs. Many earn a comfortable income and own homes. Divorced females account for nearly 15 percent of the population, with the average age being 35. The women in Orlando come from diverse cultural backgrounds, making it an international cougar Mecca for younger single men who are interested in a worldly, well-rounded relationship.

5. San Diego, Calif.

About San Diego: San Diego is the second-largest city in California after Los Angeles. Rated the fifth best place to live in 2006 by “Money Magazine,” San Diego is the perfect town for sun worshipers, sports fans and bicycle-riders. Home to 70 miles of picturesque beaches, San Diego allows residents to experience mountains, the coast and the desert all in one day.

Why San Diego is a Cougar Town: According to members of Yelp.com, several bars in San Diego are cougar hangouts. Some of these bars have code names such as “The Cougar Den” or less affectionately, “The Wrinkle Room.” From mature military wives who like to let loose when their husbands are at sea to the restless widowed or divorced middle-aged women that still like to party, San Diego has acquired a reputation for attracting women who consider themselves cougars.

April Lentini writes for Apartment Guide in Detroit
Image: Irina Slutsky (flickr)

Just like the “free love” generation before us, millennials figured this out long before the men in white coats arrived. For some, hooking up is a way to explore their sexuality without a relationship commitment. For others it’s a form of dating — a good relationship requires a good sexual relationship, so why not cut to the chase?

But — there’s a catch. The study only covers emotional health. It just so happens the hook-up generation is also a primary victim of failed abstinence-only marriage programs and their sexual health knowledge is… terrifying. Another new study , this one by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, found that less than half of young adults use contraception when they have sex. In interviewing 18-29 year olds, they netted what is officially one of the scariest quotes of the year: “it doesn’t matter whether you use birth control or not; when it is your time to get pregnant it will happen.”

Yikes! These are the brainiacs you could be hooking up with over Spring Break?!? With that in mind, it’s time for another round of “Smart Girl Tips” to keep you safe, healthy, and sexy this Spring Break:

• If there’s even the remotest possibility you’ll be having sex on the beach — or anywhere else, for that matter — buy your condoms of choice before you leave and stash a few in your purse, the rest in your carry-on. Condoms are the only way to prevent sexually transmitted infections, including HIV, so use one every single time you have sex. (A condom can also be cut in half to be used as a dental dam for safer oral fun!) If you’re on birth control, make sure to pack enough pills for your trip and remember to take it at the same time you usually do — the beer pong can wait a few minutes, we promise!

• Safe sex is the goal — no one wants to get a diaper bag for graduation! — but it’s not always the reality. If the condom slips off (or never makes it on in the first place), there’s Plan B® One Step, the only one-pill emergency contraception that can be taken up to 72 hours after unprotected sex to prevent unintended pregnancy. If you’re 17 or older, you can get it without a prescription at the pharmacy — pick it up before you leave (Plan B® One-Step is only available in the US) so a slip-up doesn’t ruin your vacation.

• If it’s mom you’d want the hospital to call when you’ve got heat exhaustion, program her numbers into your phone under ICE (“In Case of Emergency”) before you set off. When you’re on the ground, put the hotel’s phone number and address into your contacts and ask the front desk for the digits of a local cab company. If the hotel has a shuttle service, get a paper copy of the schedule and take a picture of it on your phone for later reference.

• Hop from place to place in a pack and designate a ‘sober sister’ to make sure no one is slinking out the door with that gelled up, spray-tanned creeper or undressing for an ill-advised turn on the bar. As a rule, no one should leave alone with a new-found “friend” — but if you absolutely must head out for a hook-up, have a friend program your prize’s phone number in her phone and take a picture of you together. Set a time to check-in by text — and make sure to follow through.

• The same ‘drink rules’ you follow at frat parties apply tenfold on Spring Break — never accept a drink from someone you don’t know and don’t leave it unattended while you dance or go to the bathroom. Same goes for those glowing vials of alcohol — take it directly from the server before it gets passed down the line.

• More than 60% of employers take social networking profiles into consideration when making hiring decisions. Don’t let a week of debauchery ruin your job prospects by remembering that everything is a camera, including phones, iPods, and computers. Don’t do anything at a club you’d be mortified to see on CNN tomorrow. Be selective when posting your own pics — booze bottles, red eyes, and lots of skin are probably best kept under the ‘private’ setting for you and your fellow revelers to enjoy.

Follow Shelby Knox on Twitter: www.twitter.com/ShelbyKnox

So why try?? That is the question that every one else asks…. But what’s a real relationship without a chase…. There is no such thing. So we all throw ourselves at the person of interest in hope to see just a glimpse of attraction back to us. Whether it is the 3-second stare down or just a flirtatious smile it gets our heart thumping in our chest. When you can get that “high” from just a look you realize you actually are attracted to that person beyond a sex related attraction. But, when do you have to recognize that you are wasting your time and all he/she is doing is torturing you for their own sick pleasure? We all might just as well have had our fingernails ripped out, then to face the ever-so-slow painful trembling in your chest. The anxiety that strangles our entire body, yet it is a feeling we all long for shortly after it is over. The constant agony soon wears on the body and mind, making the person feel as if there whole life is in a cyclone. This is the moment where the person should come to grip with reality and see they are  no where closer then when they began.

But if the attraction is felt mutually you will see signs. Those 3-seconds  stares in twine with the flirtatious smiles. The awkward laughs become more natural, and every topic you bring up sparks a decent conversation. You start to notice things about the other person that are left unnoticed. For instance. when they smile, the side side of their mouth is a little higher then the left…..and don’t think the other person doesn’t notice your abnormalities. But in all likelihood they will think as you do, that those quirks are part of the masterpiece that is who they are. Soon those conversations about the plans both of you have will become one, and the rest of the story is yet to be written.

The majority of people in the world are arguably “nice”… but do they have what it takes to be a good friend?

1. Humility - Perhaps the most important thing to look for in a friend is their ability to say “I’m sorry” when they have wronged you. No friendship can survive over time without apologies when someone has been hurt. Without humility, relationships quickly turn into a pile of bitterness and competition. Along with apologies, it’s also important that your friend is willing to forgive you.

2. Generosity - Even the most humble of friends will start to annoy you if they are super stingy with their time or money, or constantly take advantage of you. Friends who always seem to “forget their wallet” or constantly fail to “get you back” for that drink last week are not friends worth having.

3. Reliability - You know you have a great friend when you can call them up *almost* any time to talk about an issue, or to crash at their place for the night, or to grab dinner, or whatever. Friends who gossip about you with others, or who seem to bail on you regularly to hang out with someone else, are not to be trusted.

4. Care/Interest - While many people might seem to “care” about you in a surface-deep way, it becomes obvious during the tough times who truly cares about you. Do they just like to hear themselves talk, or do they actually listen and want to know how you feel? Do they exercise discretion with their words and actions regarding sensitive issues? Do they show you appreciation on special days like your birthday?

5. Sense of Humor - Contrary to popular belief, this doesn’t mean that your friend is full of hilarious jokes (there aren’t many people out there like that). It doesn’t mean that they are always laughing, or always optimistic either. Rather, it might mean that they can take a joke, or that they are not regularly offended by what you do or say, or that they can see the lighter side of certain situations.

6. Similar Morals - It’s almost impossible to find two people with the same exact moral beliefs, and if such a situation did exist, it would probably be a somewhat boring friendship! In any case, it’s best to make sure that your closest friends have similar moral beliefs as you when it comes to things that count (i.e. cheating on your partner, drug use, etc).

7. Similar/Complimentary Interests – You might not be marrying your friends, but it tends to work out better when you have interests that compliment each other. If friend #A follows baseball, and friend #B loves football, at least they can both “talk sports” sometimes. It’s not that interests must align, and it’s true that opposites attract (even among friends), but some common interests are still usually a helpful cornerstone.

8. Flexibility - An open mind, though over-praised at times, is always valuable. It’s nice to have friends with strong opinions who hold their ground on certain issues (like when your stupidity needs to be reckoned with, or when you are trying to decide where to eat!), but it’s also quite mandatory that your friends are willing and able to be reasonable when you disagree. Not only does this allow for much more interesting conversation, but it allows your friendship to grow.

9. Respect – There is a certain aspect of someone’s character that can only be described as “respectful.” It’s the part of a friend that cares about your reputation, even when you don’t. It’s the part of a friend that doesn’t let you give up on yourself, or feel down on yourself.  It’s the part of a friend that encourages you, and doesn’t try to make themselves seem better than you, even when they might be. And it’s the part of a friend that doesn’t “judge” you, even when they judge you.

10. Fun - What good is a friend if you don’t enjoy being with each other!? They might have many of the qualities listed above, but you just don’t ever have fun together. While they may be a fantastic person, they might not be the best match for you as a good friend. Having fun together is what builds lasting memories.

1. Tattoos –

2. Daddy Issues - This rears its head in all sorts of ways, so proceed with caution. Unfortunately, this is often a sad result of modern-day divorce statistics. (Variations include super clingy and/or insecure girls who tend to think every disagreement leads to someone being abandoned in a dumpster, girls that are desperate for attention from any and every male figure, girls who turn into femi-bitches a.k.a. femi-nazis at any sign of conflict, etc.)

3. Make-up Extremities - This should go without saying, but the amount of males who ignore this one is absolutely astounding. More to the point, be wary of any girl who has obviously spent hours putting on “her face” before she went outside, or otherwise seems to have a quarter-inch of foundation on her face. At the same time, be wary of girls who are staunchly opposed to wearing make-up, or shaving, or other such politically-driven clichés.

4. Too Many Guy Friends - To be honest, this one is related sometimes to #2, but sometimes not. This should be an automatic HUGE red flag. Avoid any girl with an uncanny amount of “guy friends” whether it be online social networks, in real life, or whatever. She’s either a total whore, has major daddy issues, has a general lack of social etiquette and/or discretion, or doesn’t seem to impress other females as being a worthwhile person.

5. Obsessed with Online Social Networks - This isn’t going away any time soon, so its worth including. Watch out for women that seem overly obsessed with websites like Facebook, MySpace, Match.com, dating websites, etc. They are either super bored, super narcissistic, super insecure, super bitchy, super desperate, or total whores. Whichever it is, stay the hell away.

6. Extremely “Anti-Trendy” - This speaks to the general direction that mankind as a whole has been headed for the last few decades, but it deserves a mention anyway. Unless you want a girl with a ton of baggage or who will end up annoying the shit out of you later on in life, then avoid the ladies who are out to “prove a point” every chance they get. (Variations include girls who refuse to drink Starbucks coffee because its too corporate, girls who seem to have 250 indie bands memorized when you ask them what music they like, girls who think marriage is “totally unnecessary… you know!?”, and all that disgusting jazz.

7. Overly Forward - Again, this should be obvious to most men, but alas, most fellas do their thinking with the wrong head. The fact that a girl *confidently* walks up to you and starts jabbering like crazy doesn’t necessary mean that she’s slutty (more likely, she’s just a total wackjob), but let’s be honest, there aren’t too many dudes out there who warrant such easy attention from las chicas, except maybe Jack Bauer. Unless she shows at least a little bit of reserve, or at the very minimum, a bit of playfulness, then for the love of Christ, give it a second thought before you dive in.

8. Hangs Out Quite Often At Bars, Clubs, Etc - Slutty, crazy, or depressed… with likely daddy issues. Take your pick. As a general rule of thumb, you shouldn’t really be picking out a wife at a bar. If you’re into one night stands, then go for it, but at least choose a girl who showed up with some of her other girl-friends.

9. Extremely Clueless - Doesn’t know who the Vice President is? Red flag. Doesn’t know about that massive earthquake that happened in Haiti last week? Red flag. Doesn’t care to educate herself after her stupidity is pointed out? Red flag. Thinks it’s attractive to be stupid or pretend that she’s stupid? Red flag. Are you getting the point yet?…

10. Easily Offended, Extremely Poubty, Etc - In short, avoid girls who can’t take a joke, don’t laugh much, love to act offended about nearly everything as some bizarre attempt at proving they are “enlightened”, or who actually do get offended or hurt by random bullshit all the time. Also, avoid girls who seem to have a different reaction each time to the same stimuli (“Wanna grab dinner?” … “Don’t talk to me!”), or who seem addicted to poubting, or who generally don’t seem to have a handle on their emotional reactions. Yah, that sure helps to narrow it down, huh?

Honorable mention: Overly Athletic – Desires nothing more than to constantly attempt to show you up mountain climbing or weight-lifting? Run, run, as fast as you can, away from this type of female. She probably had some bitter encounter with a cop one day and is now a questionable lesbian.

They are a waste of time for both parties…. Why would anyone send a one word txt and not bother carrying on the conversation? Is the beginning of a new type of communication? One where everyone can answer with telecommunication.

No, I think the true answer lies with the people sending those horrible txts.

I believe they want the responding party to ask a more provocative question/statement to catch them off guard and spice up there typical day, or they want you to leave them alone.

But, ff they take the time to send that one word they definitively don’t want you to leave them alone… Right?

So next time anyone receives that you should respond with a outrageous question or statement to see what there response is.

And I bet it will be more then one word unless their response is:

“What!!??”

But I would bet instead of “What!!!??!?” you will receive an answer that will blow your mind.

Have a clean apartment and get a baby sitter

While most guys could care less about candles and soft music, they do appreciate a clean house.  Pick up your things and make room for your guy to be a guy on Valentine’s Day. Doing his laundry for him would be taking it one step further –but only if you are already on that level of intimacy. If you have kids, get them out of your home. Better yet, arrange to have them spend the night at someone else’s house if possible. When transforming your apartment into a guy-friendly romantic escape, the focus should be entirely on your man.

Get dressed up (or down) and have dinner ready

Where do most men want to go on Valentine’s Day? Nowhere, that’s where. They’re tired. They worked all day and they probably had to stand in a long line at the grocery store buying you flowers and candy if they were not creative enough to get a custom valentine gift (but that’s another article). The last thing your man wants to do is wait an hour to be seated at a restaurant on Valentine’s Day. So, dine in. Surprise him with the smell of his favorite meal cooking as he walks in the door. If you lack the talent for cooking, order in his favorite meal. Even if he made reservations somewhere, he will probably prefer to eat alone with you in that smoking outfit you’ll be wearing. Bow chica wow wow.

Succumb to Guy Activities

What do guys want to do on Valentine’s Day? Well, if you’ve been partners for a while, probably nothing. A MythBusters Marathon may be a married man’s idea of a hot date, so why fight it? On this one night, it won’t kill you to sit on the couch with him and appreciate his passion for explosives. If he likes to play video games, just go with it. Maybe he will suggest some risqué movies or games that will keep you both entertained. The point is this: you are making this his night to be pampered, so if he wants to vegetate in front of the TV, so be it. If he wants to tinker around in the basement or garage, strap on a tool belt and offer him a helping hand. For him, making an effort to take interest in his stuff may be more endearing and romantic than you think.

Many women see Valentine’s Day as an excuse to be pampered like a queen. Fair enough. However, if you are lucky enough to have a man that treats you like a queen (on most days), turning your home into a man cave for one night is not going to hurt you.

April Lentini is married and likes jewelry, chocolates and flowers. But she appreciates those things the most when they are unexpected –not on the commercial Valentine’s Day. April writes for ApartmentGuide in Chicago’s Greektown. (Image: CarbonNYC) This article originally appeared on halfpastnine.

In what ways would you let your man be a man for Valentine’s Day?

• Stay in touch: This is one cardinal rule that must not be broken if you want to make any relationship work, especially one that has to stand the test of distance. Use all the means at your disposal to keep in touch with your loved one – phone calls may be expensive, but email and other forms of online communication are cost effective and make staying in touch easy. When you’re limited by distance, you need to overcome this boundary by staying in touch.
• Understand that long-distance relationships are hard: You may think that it’s easy to maintain and sustain a relationship even though you and your partner are far away from each other, but the reality is that takes a lot of determination, dedication and commitment to making a long distance relationship work. So be prepared to put in that extra effort and don’t resent your partner’s demands on your time because it takes time to adjust to the new situation.
• Don’t succumb to distractions: College offers a host of distractions, not the least of which is that you are bound to meet other people who may interest you. While you may want to explore these opportunities, it’s up to you to decide if your high school sweetheart is worth losing in the bargain. It’s a good test of character though, because by resisting temptation, you prove that you have the character and mettle to go through life without jumping from one option to another without fully realizing the value of what you have right now.
• Include your significant other in your life: When you move to college and your sweetheart is left behind, it’s easier for you to cope. It’s the one who stays back who finds it hard to manage. So understand that they may tend to cling and make every effort to include them in your life. Talk about all that you do in college, and include even the most insignificant details. Get them to visit once in a while so that they feel connected to you even though you’re far apart.
• Learn to let go if necessary: This may be the most difficult part of any relationship, but there may come a time when it may be necessary to break things off because one or both of you are not comfortable any longer. If your partner is the one who wants to leave, learn to let go without becoming too needy or demanding. It will be hard, but the sooner you let go, the sooner you can begin to move on and start living your life. It may seem like it at the time, but a breakup is not the end of the world. Time is the biggest healer of any wound, so give yourself time to grieve, and then, learn to move on.

This guest post is written by Angela Peterson, who writes on the topic of online psychology degrees. She can be reached by email at: angela_peterson@rediffmail.com

Textual Intercourse, a new book by Beob

I’m certainly not one of these people who pushes their chest out and proudly says, “Oh I can’t be arsed with texting, if I’ve got something to say then I’ll just ring ‘em!”, as if they should receive some sort of medal for being so utterly, uncreative.  These people (usually men) have seriously missed the point if they think the only thing the text message is to be used for, is practical purposes.  These very people could really benefit from discovering the joys of putting thumb to keypad and getting those pent up feelings out in the open airwaves.  Their girlfriends would be chuffed.

This is the thing that I love about text.  We all find it hard to say the things that are closest to our hearts, especially us Brits, which is why letter writing has always been a great way to express your feelings.  But writing a letter is an event in itself.  With texting, your mobile becomes the pen and paper that you carry around all the time.  It has suddenly become easy to pen down those things that you’ve been trying to say for years, in a few simple words.

Of course it doesn’t always run as smoothly as that.  The text phenonomen has opened up a whole other set of politics to deal with.  After receiving about 15 blank text messages from my Mum the other day, I text her to ask why.  She said it was because she was trying to put me at the top of her most texted list because something was going wrong with her phone and another man, that she never texts was at the top and she didn’t want her boyfriend to see.  I didn’t even know there was such a thing as “a most texted list”.

My Dad is a whole different story.  It has taken him 10 years to come round to the idea of predictive text and he still hasn’t figured out how to change “On” to “No” so instead writes “Negative”.  Then the other day I received this message from him K.cumt.  I’ve no idea what it was meant to say and was almost not the sort of message you want to receive from your Dad.  My Dad’s all time greatest text has got to be, Grandma died at 7. Not even a kiss!  Please don’t feel sad for me, it actually made me smile.  It’s just my Dad’s style.

My Dad’s phone once started doing something funny.  It started randomly sending messages out of its sent box or maybe even its inbox, I have no idea; I’ve never had the stomach to bring it up.  The first few I received were alright but still a bit too intimate for comfort, the next were pretty damn horrible to receive.  Urghhh, it wasn’t a good day.

That’s probably the worst thing about text messages; the whole texting the wrong person scenario.  What about when you’re sending a really bitchy text message about someone and because you’re thinking about that person so much you end up actually sending the message to the person you’re bitching about?  A colleague of mine has just fallen victim to this.  Our boss was sacked and she was so happy she sent a text saying as much, and went and sent it to the boss.  Oops!

I’ve got to take this opportunity to mention Shane Warne, who is the class idiot of texting.  Geez this guy loves to text!  What is he doing?  For anyone who hasn’t heard about the Australian cricketer’s texting faux-pas’, I will explain.  Married Shane Warne’s lust-induced text messages sent to a variety of women, have been regularly splashed across the papers.  So much so that it was a total joke.  Anyway, this culminated in the famous cricketer winning his appeal to his wife and convincing her to try again, despite her having seen the filth her husband had been texting other women.  However, just to add a perfect tabloid-fairytale ending to it all, only 2 months after their reconciliation, the distracted bowler added a bit of a spin to the proceedings and sent a text to his wife that was meant for yet another woman.  His wife then went on to publicly shame the “loser”.

Hey beautiful, I’m just talking to my kids, the back door’s open.”

She replied with “You loser, you sent the message to the wrong person.”

It could have been worse, I suppose. He could have sent his wife one of his legendary, testosterone-fuelled messages yet somehow this is so much worse though.  He’s texting from his family home whilst talking to his kids yet arranging his lover to slip in through the back-door in order to pleasure his sticky wicket. This is probably the same door that his kids run out of everyday to play cricket in the garden, so they can be just like daddy; or the same door his wife goes to hang his over-used scruds, lovingly out to dry.  Shane Warne is obviously just incapable of complying with the L.B.W rule; Love Before Willy.

Here are some of my favourite Warne texts;

“I want to kick your puppy”. Kiss?  Pussy?

It was amazing? How good was our sex F***ing very hot! My turn to come please tell me how I should think of you!

Sex fucking?  Is this an Aussie phrase?  Also, the lack of punctuation makes things very confusing.

Really? Rain? What about i meet you somewhere in the open and you can be standing there in the rain i can come meet you in the rain and then X

It is amazing to me that he hasn’t given up on the SMS altogether.  Why hasn’t he realised that his love of text is landing him in hot crocodile-infused water?  He seems to be somewhat addicted.  The University of Queensland in Australia (perhaps in a desperate bid to understand the Nation’s hero’s idiocy)  has found that text messaging is the most addictive digital service on mobile or internet, and is equivalent in addictiveness to cigarette smoking.  The need to text has even got a name; “Reachability”, which is the need to feel connected.  If only Shane Warne had known that all he had to do to win his wife back, was to explain his “Reachability” issues!   In January 2009, a teenage girl set a record high of 14,528 text messages in a one month period.  That’s Warne’s kind of woman.

Shane sounds like my kind of man though; he matches my enthusiasm for texting.  It’s this enthusiasm that has driven me to spend the last year roaming the country, trying to get into the most intimate of places; The Inbox.  I have explored various methods of convincing people to release their phones to me, usually involving alcohol.  I’ve stolen, pleaded, black-mailed and sold myself in part-exchange in order to get the best texts around, and all for your entertainment.  I promise every single text message you will see is absolutely genuine, down to the punctuation and amount of kisses.  So please enjoy reading in the knowledge of that.  During this entertaining year of collecting texts, I’ve also had a good team of pals that have been on the look out for great texts and new texting trends.

Whilst out drinking the other night, my friend told me about this new game that’s going around, called the “I love you” game.  In this game, each participant takes out their phone and writes a text saying I love you.  Everyone then passes their phone to the person on their left and without looking, the message is sent to a person at random.  Can you imagine?  Which genius/sicko came up with this game?

So we decided to play the “I love you” game, only we changed it slightly.  Instead, we text There’s always been something between us, don’t you think?. Now I’ve got to warn you, there’s something spooky going on with this game; the message always, always, always seems to get sent to the worst person it possibly could.  Mine got sent to an old family friend.  The only family friend I have in my phone.  Horrible!  Another participant sent it to his ex-girlfriend’s Mum.  Certainly, not for the faint-hearted!

The other week my boyfriend made the mistake of leaving his phone with his friends in the pub.  When he got it back he found this message in his sent box; I want to bum dad. It was sent to his Mum.

It’s a dangerous game this text malarkey and the text-dating world is no exception.  It really is a minefield.  You think you have it all sorted and you know exactly what you’re doing and then wham, suddenly; silence, no beep,beep, no sodding reply.  Just over a year ago, before I got with my boyfriend, I met this guy who I quite liked.  We’d had a bit of flirt, lingering eye-contact and even did that thing where you purposefully brush your hand against one-another whilst talking to someone else; so I got his number off his mate.  It burnt a hole in my phone all the following day but I knew I couldn’t text him straight away.  Hey man, I’m no amateur!  I did however spend all day geekily figuring out what I was going to write.  I thought I was so bloody clever!

Hi Aaron, just thought I’d let you know you left without taking your goody bag the other night, so I think you should come around and get it.  Love Beob xx

I mean it wasn’t a lie.  He did leave without taking his goody bag, but then so did everyone else because I was too leathered to give them out.  Waiting for a reply, I started to question myself; Did I have the right number?  Did I imagine the hand-brushing thing?  Was my cute, little impression of the Wizard of Oz munchkins not cute at all and in fact the most cringeable, embarrassing thing I could have ever done? The reply never came. Humiliating or what?  My only chance of saving any dignity was not to give in to the temptation of sending a second text.  NEVER SEND A SECOND TEXT.

Well did I send a second text?  Of course not.  I told you I was no amateur.  I have seen him since though.  My first mistake was spelling his name wrong.  Lazy work Beob!  He has also told me since that he had never received such a suggestive text message and didn’t really know how to respond.  I definitely misjudged the situation.  Then again, if this really was the most suggestive text he’d ever received then he certainly wasn’t the one for me!  I should have known when he got his guitar out for a sing-song.  He probably rolls his own sushi.  Oh no, that was someone else.  My new text/dating rule is, ‘If in doubt, don’t text!’  It’s a goodie, take it on board.

But it’s all in the name of fun, isn’t it?  In fact my only criticism of text is that you get so many great texts that you can’t possibly keep them all.  Maybe it was the desire to keep all my favourites in a collection that spurred me on to writing, oh wait sorry no, compiling this book.  This book has a hundred different authors and that’s what’s great about text; everyone’s a writer, and I have them all to thank for letting me snoop through their most intimate messages.  Incidentally, writing this book was a great excuse when I was caught, red-handed, going through my boyfriend’s inbox!

Beob is the author of Textual Intercourse. You may find more information about the book at: www.textualintercourse.co.uk

1. To make their woman happy. Let’s take an example. The majority of women are not happy with their bodies. What is a man suppose to answer when asked “how do I look?” We all know what would happen if he was honest and said “You look okay, even though I prefer a flatter tummy and bigger boobs.” A small white lie such as “You look beautiful, just like always.” will save his life. Women know that is a small lie, but they like to hear it and happily take it as the truth.

2. To avoid arguments. Everybody has different opinions. It is not easy to agree on the same things all the time with your partner. When people insist on their own opinions, arguments tend to happen. Too many arguments in a relationship becomes exhausting, and often the best way for a man to avoid conflict in small matters is by pretending that he agrees with you.

3. To justify himself. Like women, men make mistakes but they often hate to admit it and look bad in front of you. Little harmless lies here and there will get him out of trouble and keep his good image in your eyes.

4. To make himself seem better. Men value their pride. They want to be the hero and their women to be proud of them. With a little lie, their women will appreciate them more and feel better for having them as their partners.

5. To get or avoid something. Men may lie to get something out of you, or to get you to do something for them. It can also be to avoid something they don’t want to do. A lie is a lot easier to say than to explain the real reasons and usually is a lot more acceptable too.

If you are a man and reading this, understand that women do know about your lies a lot of the time but they either enjoy it or cannot be bothered to get you to fess up. Don’t lie excessively or you may get in trouble one day.

If you are a woman, realize that your man doesn’t mean any harm when he tells you those little lies. Appreciate the fact that he often does it to make you happy which shows his affection for you. Don’t bother too much about little things, but do have good communication and honest talk when you are discussing serious matters.

Learn more about what men and women crave the most, how to be irresistible to the opposite sex and get your love back even after a break up. No matter how impossible your situation seems to be, there is always hope that you can get your love back. Follow the exact step by step method that works like magic in restoring your relationship. Watch the no obligation FREE VIDEO and see it for yourself. Everybody deserves a second chance and it is never too late. Take control of your life, get your Second Chance Together.

Breathe, relax and focus for a moment. When negativity seems to abound and you feel like you could sing the blues with the rest of them, take a step back. Upon finding myself alone in a foreign country (Sweden), and having just been broken up with by the man of my dreams (yes, my own personal version of my Brad Pitt), I had a lot of time to sit around and sulk. It was a VERY small town in Sweden and I had more than a few hours to kill. Yikes! What’s a girl to do?

The first thought that comes to mind- I need to cry, I want to cry, why am I not crying? I do not know anyone here, I need to get back to the US, and IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING? Well, I chalk it up to the strength of a woman combined with enough post-relationship analysis I am a self-proclaimed expert at this point. The following method got me through one of my most challenging moments, and I hope it helps my fellow lady friends all over, heaven forbid they encounter a similar situation. Whether your career is stagnant after you have given beyond your best, you have lost someone dear to your heart (deceased or living) or a chain of unfortunate events have presented themselves to your life all at once, fear not. It may take some time and practice but the following combination will surely ease your burden and put the whole quandary into perspective.

Contact a friend or family member as soon as you feel you are at your emotional capacity. This can be a best friend, parent, sibling or partner. Chances are, someone close to you has your best intentions at heart and wants what is best for you. Plus they can step outside the situation and recommend less emotional measures even if you want to pick up and move to a remote island to teach scuba diving for the next year.

Ensure you are in a safe environment. You need to go to a place where your stress is reduced not heightened. This allows both your mind and body to breathe a little bit so your focus becomes more clear. This does not mean taking a double margarita as your companion on a solo drive “so you can relax” while listening to sad songs. Put your favorite pjs on, light some candles and listen to a relaxing playlist from your iTunes library. If you prefer not to be alone go to a friends house (make sure it is a positive person who always knows how to make you smile).

Grab a piece of paper and jot down at least ten things you are thankful for. Although it may seem like the world has come crashing down there are plenty of reasons to be thankful. Perhaps you lost your job. Now you have the world at your fingertips! Go pursue what you have always wanted to do even if it involves a totally different career path. If you are paralyzed by the loss of your one and only ( I can identify, as I wondered why this happened to me in southern Sweden on a cold, rainy day on what was supposed to be my romantic vacation), focus on all your wonderful traits and realize that for every door that closes, hundreds more open. Remember the saying there are plenty of fish in the sea? Well, one walk through the Copenhagen airport and I realized there are plenty of male-fishies just waiting to be fished by a confident lady!

Write down your goals. This may seem like a redundant exercise but jotting down your aspiration puts you one step closer to having the life you have dreamed about. Dream big as you like, but also keep the list within reason. You want to set goals you can attain and feel proud of. Maybe you want to speak another language or take that weekend trip with your best friend. Go for it! Dedicate time to nourish your needs and wants, and I promise you will not be disappointed.

Get thee to the bookstore. Immediately go to the section that inspires you. Grab your favorite cup of joe and dive into the fanciful world of books. One of my best friends swears by the women’s self-help section every time she hits a major bump in the road. Topics include women that have achieved the impossible, lived life to the fullest and challenged the status quo. You cannot tell me it is not fun to identify with women who rose above trials and tribulations and smile all the while.

Exercise. Nothing can replace exercise when it comes to physical and mental health. Aside from boosting endorphins, increasing serotonin, aiding digestion and other physical bonuses (such as slipping back into your skinny jeans), it just plain makes you feel like the hot goddess you are! My best friend is a die-hard marathon runner and swears by it. She used to leave voicemails forcing me to get out of bed and meet her at our apartment gym to chat while jogging on the treadmill. At the time I hated it and repeatedly explained that I enjoy sports and sprinting, NOT distance running. Five years later I run weekly and have completed several half marathons that make me feel like Wonder Woman. So whether you need to find your center of balance doing downward dog or want to take your frustrations out on the punching bag in your kickboxing class, make a habit out of sweating. I promise it will empower your body and spirit even on the days you cannot find your rose colored glasses.

In sum, no matter what lemons life has thrown your way be sure to follow this simple set of go-to’s when you are down in the dumps. Throughout history, women have not only endured and survived but blossomed and thrived. Every day you wake up is a new day and the world is your oyster. Throw open the curtains, take your glass half full and make yourself proud!

A scene from the classic film, "Harold and Maude."

In keeping with the age discrepancy theme, a new movie is out called “An Education” about a teenage girl who falls for an older man. It’s actually a very good movie, so I won’t ruin it for you by telling you what happens. Not like my friend Tim from high school who used to love watching The Usual Suspects with people and telling them half way through the movie who Kaiser Soze was. Shade-y.

But as for “Harold and Maude” and “An Education”, people come away from either movie wondering whether it is really possible for a teenager to love an adult. In fact, is it even possible for a teenager to love in the same way that adults do?

Let’s take a step back and look at the ridiculous age based rules we have in our society. You have to be 16 to drive a car. You can’t vote or serve in the military until you turn 18. But even then, you can’t legally drink a beer. At age 21 you can finally buy a beer legally but you can’t rent a car for another 4 years. And for those constitutional scholars out there, you can’t serve in the House of Representatives until you are 25, Senate until you turn 30, and can’t be President until you’re at least 35.

But what will really bake your noodle is that, in many states, you can be tried as an adult and put in prison for the rest of your life without parole when you’re as young as 12.

So, let’s recap. At age 12, when you are in 6th grade, you can’t drink, drive, vote, serve in the military, rent a car, run for the House or the Senate, or be President of the United States. But what you can do is be held accountable for a crime the same as any adult.

Say what?

But what about love? This is, after all, Love Dub. Essentially we’re saying that a teenager isn’t responsible enough to drink, drive, fight, or vote. But at the same time they are mature enough to have to take full responsibility for their actions. All the bad parts about being an adult without any of the fun stuff.

So, do we trust them to love? Well, if we put love in the category with the other fun stuff, the answer would be no. We deny kids the fun stuff. So no love for you.

But love isn’t always fun, right? I mean, look at Harold. He falls in love with Maude and then she goes and dies. So maybe kids should be able to love.

Did I just equate love to life in prison without parole? Yikes. I would never do something like that. Marriage, maybe, but certainly not love.

The truth is, there are some very mature teenagers out there, and some extremely immature adults. There is no one size fits all rule that will ever encompass everyone. But it is fairly clear to anyone who has ever taught, raised, or viewed from a distance, a group of teenagers that they still have a lot of brain development to come. It doesn’t take an fMRI to tell you that.

So no, Harold’s love for Maude isn’t real love, and neither is Jenny’s love for David in “An Education”. We can’t blame the children for thinking they are in love. But we most certainly can expect the adults not to take advantage of a young and still developing heart.

Young children and, yes, teenagers too, are learning about love and life, and they will make mistakes along the way. We would never force a 12 year old girl who is seduced by, and falls for, an older man to spend the rest of her life with him. And neither should we force a 12 year old who commits a crime to spend the rest of his life in prison for it.

At the very least, until we change those laws, those same kids who are susceptible to being charged as adults should be treated as adults in other ways too. So get ready for a horde of 12 year-olds drinking a beer with one hand, filling out a ballot with the other, all while driving down the street in a rental car on their way to register for front line duty in the marines.

My fear presents itself when I encounter those I know well, especially the opposite sex. I recently went to a friend’s house for drinks, and to my surprise, was bombarded with faces I hadn’t seen in a few years. Everyone was watching TV, Jamie Foxx was hosting the BET Awards show, but stood up when they saw me walk in. All the males in the room shook my hand like they were interviewing for a job, but the ladies refused this treatment.

I approached a familiar female face and smiled, raising my right hand in the air and got ready for a high-five. My clasped digits froze in the air as the girl’s face filled with disdain. Her arms that were outstretched now fell beside her.

“Ew,” she uttered.

I’m someone who limits his hugging. If I haven’t seen my grandmother for a long time, I’ll put my arm around her. My buddy just survived two months in South America with just a backpack? Here’s a nice squeeze (a manly one with a few pats on the back, of course). And if I’m saying goodbye to my significant other at an airport’s drop off area, I’ll be sure to grab her tight around the waste and hold on as if life depended on it.

But those obligatory, often feigned physical interactions with acquaintances who wouldn’t give a damn if you never talked to them ever again are beyond bothersome to me. Why is it that some are made to feel awkward or uncomfortable? Isn’t a high-five or an improvised handshake enough of a greeting?

Some would say no.There are psychological effects of embracing. According to Parveen Chopra’s article, hugging shows others you care. Dr. Achal Bhagat, a psychiatrist in Delhi, India, claims that, “Touch is an important component of attachment as it creates bonds between two individuals.”

If you see a shady character with a “Free Hugs” T-shirt, you don’t necessarily want to make him your best friend. But studies have shown that long hugs, those that last up to six seconds, can lower blood pressure and increase blood levels of oxytocin, a hormone that helps relaxation.

These studies were convincing, so I decided to give random hugs a try. And coincidentally enough, the day I convince myself to do this, I run into the same girl who had been appalled that I rejected her embrace in my friend’s living room.

So, I’m at my favorite local coffee shop with a new book from the library. I see her through the window, her head down, focused on her graduate school prep work. I get nervous. The last hug I initiated was with my grandmother a month ago.

I get to her, hovering over her right shoulder, and she notices me. She doesn’t get up.

“How have you been?” I say with a smile.

I go for it.

My left arm reaches around the middle of her back, my grasp strong enough to support someone falling after losing his balance. From the corner of my eye, I see her right arm reach for the area I was standing in.

I didn’t feel anything.

She might have grazed my shirt, or maybe I was concentrating so hard on my own hug that I didn’t notice hers.

Her “hug” was not a sign of bonding or assurance that it would relinquish any physical pain or sadness. Her arm accidentally touched my back, withdrawing so fast as if she touched a hot plate. It was awful.

Rejected and confused, I retreated to a seat outside and looked toward a busy avenue. My friend arrived and was now standing next to me, waiting for the obligatory first greeting.

We didn’t hug.